Thank you, Kristin, for a thorough and compassionate reporting of this story. I hear the anger in the comments of those who have personally experienced the pain caused by Trump and MAGA. It is asking a great deal of them to be open to the suggestion of empathy instead of scorn or even hatred. I also found it difficult at first. But I believe Dr. Martin Luther King Jr.’s admonition, “Hatred cannot drive out hatred; only love can do that.” So I had to try.
First, I learned that such hatred was supposed to happen. The GOP has been working since Reagan and Gingrich to use a message of hatred and fear of “the other” as the way to grow their power. That message solidified under Trump into MAGA vs. “the radical, lunatic left.”
I also learned that MAGA is NOT a monolith of Trump supporters who voted for him three times "because of the price of gas.” Besides the millionaire/billionaire power-grabbing members of Trump’s administrations, and some very extreme far-right ideologues, there are millions of Americans who have been vulnerable to the MAGA message through perhaps the most significant influence in their lives, their churches.
I'm a former nun, and a Christian chaplain whose faith is core to my life. It has been very painful to learn how tangled up MAGA is with the scourge of Christian Nationalism. In many affected churches, members, especially women, are decent, hardworking people, whose hardscrabble lives make them vulnerable to the comfort and support of community offered by their churches.Their Christian Nationalist leaders tell them that Trump is their savior, that he is the only way to keep the evil “communist/socialist government” from destroying their churches and their lives, especially by allowing abortions. When you add to those “lessons” limited information sources and a Democratic party that for decades ignored any regions in the country where they "couldn't win elections," you have a trifecta of forces that made millions of middle Americans vulnerable to the MAGA message.
Jesus was angry at the money changers in the temple and threw over their tables in protest of their injustices. For everyone else deemed "sinners" by their communities, he showed compassion, empathy and forgiveness. I'm thinking that's how he would invite me to receive those MAGA folks who are doing the hard work of truly questioning their years of commitment to Trump, facing the deep harm caused by his presidency, and deciding whether or not to give up their communities. I invite my fellow liberals to consider this invitation as well. Blessings.
How will they make repairs to us for their mistakes? They have to DO something substantive, not just say “sorry” to falling prey to racism, misogyny and cruelty. They read the Bible, love their churches and still chose evil. Because you know, it felt good. They reveled in it, now they’re contrite publically. I think they’re still rotten at their core. They need to prove they’re changed by good acts or they are charlatans.
They have to work for forgiveness. Lots of work. Like Jesus said.
Let us consider the women and men with abusive partners who, with or without their consent, have been subjected to ritual humiliation as a tool to convince them to stay, to comply, to take the blame, or even conclude that they must stay in the relationship because the can "save" the abuser. This, it seems to me, describes many folks spouting MAGA nonsense. I say nonsense because it is intentionally nonsense--there is no way to argue your way out of nonsense because there is no cohesion and nothing ties. This is why the abuser talks in nonsense and then puts those words into your mouth. So let us imagine ourselves the friends of these victims and try to see them in this light.
For me - I have the opportunity to be guided by Lincoln’s better angels and if possible help a fellow American find her way out of an evil cult. I’m not giving up on anybody. Thank you Leaving MAGA- I support and share their information whenever I can.
I am all out of empathy. For now that is someone else’s lane. I have found a lane I can better serve. There is a lane for everyone and we must drive in them all.
This is brilliant Kristin! We specialize in relationship and sex therapy with couples who participated in MAGA/Christian Nationalism.
The decision to leave MAGA can wreak havoc on a family and relationship system. This population absolutely needs empathy and support, and so much less moral superiority and ridicule from helping professions, never mind the larger public.
Excellent piece. The next topic benefitting from your insight and writing is the borderline MAGA — Trump voters who reject the label. Living in a red state, I know many. They're persuadable, but not through the "Leaving MAGA" framework. The larger electoral math, though, lives with Independents who voted Trump and now have some buyer's remorse. Welcoming MAGA refugees matters, but winning requires a different conversation with that broader, disillusioned middle.
While I appreciate that some percentage of those 'Triple-Trumpers' are, as some say, seeing the light, I cannot ignore the fact that a larger percent of those, and most of those that continue to support this regime, have caused irreparable harm to our country, and immense pain and trauma to communities. And now, I'm supposed to trust that they have had an epiphany, only because they cannot afford to fill up their gas tanks? That is a hard ask. One that reminds me of a sign at a recent rally - It shouldn't have to happen to you for you to care. I have empathy and open-ness to those you describe, when they have a history of living their faith; I have no trust for those who go to church on Sunday and then on Monday continue to harm their neighbors, communities and our country.
Hard ask, indeed. There will be MAGA supporters who will never consider a different point of view. But, I do want to hold out hope that some MAGA supporters are changing their minds.
I understand the need to reach across the table. At the same time, these loyalists are still trying to figure out what most of the country has understood since 2016. They have been ignorant, often willfully, arrogant, cock-sure, hateful, and stupid. And the whole world is suffering for it. But I'm glad some finally, finally are seeing the light.
I would like to welcome people who are changing their minds. It's hard thing for both sides to do; admit being wrong and be open to people we think have done harm and understanding their perspective.
Their “perspective”?!!! How can we possibly ethically understand their perspective? There’s no compromise with evil- they broke America and we can’t forget it. Because it could easily happen again if we try to find the middle. There’s no middle ground.
Scorn is certainly easier. Empathy for these folks is really hard. However, I truly believe that our anger needs to be directed at the billionaires running our country. They have prospered under Trump while the rest of us have suffered and are suffering. The 98% of Americans need to take back our country from the American Oligarchs.
They all change their mind when things affect their own lives, and then claim they “didn’t know”
Now, that doesn’t mean I won’t fake it to get their votes for James Talarico- I’ll hold my nose and act nice to their faces…but I will NOT forget their racism,misogyny, ignorance and stupidity. And definitely not forgive. Because that’s who they really are, y’all. Deplorables.
“These professional level courses have been crafted by experts in communications and depolarization. They provide an effective and “safe” way to interact with people in difficult situations. These courses can be taken stand-alone, before a workshop, or after a workshop. Each course takes approximately 40 minutes to complete.”
I'm sorry this happened to you. I think people have to do whatever they feel is within their capacity. I don't think there is an easy answer which is why I wrote the article and thought Leaving MAGA had an interesting approach. For me, if a MAGA person has any thoughts about voting for a Democrat, I would like to bring them along.
Thank you, Kristin, for a thorough and compassionate reporting of this story. I hear the anger in the comments of those who have personally experienced the pain caused by Trump and MAGA. It is asking a great deal of them to be open to the suggestion of empathy instead of scorn or even hatred. I also found it difficult at first. But I believe Dr. Martin Luther King Jr.’s admonition, “Hatred cannot drive out hatred; only love can do that.” So I had to try.
First, I learned that such hatred was supposed to happen. The GOP has been working since Reagan and Gingrich to use a message of hatred and fear of “the other” as the way to grow their power. That message solidified under Trump into MAGA vs. “the radical, lunatic left.”
I also learned that MAGA is NOT a monolith of Trump supporters who voted for him three times "because of the price of gas.” Besides the millionaire/billionaire power-grabbing members of Trump’s administrations, and some very extreme far-right ideologues, there are millions of Americans who have been vulnerable to the MAGA message through perhaps the most significant influence in their lives, their churches.
I'm a former nun, and a Christian chaplain whose faith is core to my life. It has been very painful to learn how tangled up MAGA is with the scourge of Christian Nationalism. In many affected churches, members, especially women, are decent, hardworking people, whose hardscrabble lives make them vulnerable to the comfort and support of community offered by their churches.Their Christian Nationalist leaders tell them that Trump is their savior, that he is the only way to keep the evil “communist/socialist government” from destroying their churches and their lives, especially by allowing abortions. When you add to those “lessons” limited information sources and a Democratic party that for decades ignored any regions in the country where they "couldn't win elections," you have a trifecta of forces that made millions of middle Americans vulnerable to the MAGA message.
Jesus was angry at the money changers in the temple and threw over their tables in protest of their injustices. For everyone else deemed "sinners" by their communities, he showed compassion, empathy and forgiveness. I'm thinking that's how he would invite me to receive those MAGA folks who are doing the hard work of truly questioning their years of commitment to Trump, facing the deep harm caused by his presidency, and deciding whether or not to give up their communities. I invite my fellow liberals to consider this invitation as well. Blessings.
How well put Terry. Thank you for sharing your in depth thoughts. It's challenging with many mixed emotions coming into play.
How will they make repairs to us for their mistakes? They have to DO something substantive, not just say “sorry” to falling prey to racism, misogyny and cruelty. They read the Bible, love their churches and still chose evil. Because you know, it felt good. They reveled in it, now they’re contrite publically. I think they’re still rotten at their core. They need to prove they’re changed by good acts or they are charlatans.
They have to work for forgiveness. Lots of work. Like Jesus said.
Let us consider the women and men with abusive partners who, with or without their consent, have been subjected to ritual humiliation as a tool to convince them to stay, to comply, to take the blame, or even conclude that they must stay in the relationship because the can "save" the abuser. This, it seems to me, describes many folks spouting MAGA nonsense. I say nonsense because it is intentionally nonsense--there is no way to argue your way out of nonsense because there is no cohesion and nothing ties. This is why the abuser talks in nonsense and then puts those words into your mouth. So let us imagine ourselves the friends of these victims and try to see them in this light.
For me - I have the opportunity to be guided by Lincoln’s better angels and if possible help a fellow American find her way out of an evil cult. I’m not giving up on anybody. Thank you Leaving MAGA- I support and share their information whenever I can.
I am all out of empathy. For now that is someone else’s lane. I have found a lane I can better serve. There is a lane for everyone and we must drive in them all.
This is brilliant Kristin! We specialize in relationship and sex therapy with couples who participated in MAGA/Christian Nationalism.
The decision to leave MAGA can wreak havoc on a family and relationship system. This population absolutely needs empathy and support, and so much less moral superiority and ridicule from helping professions, never mind the larger public.
Excellent piece. The next topic benefitting from your insight and writing is the borderline MAGA — Trump voters who reject the label. Living in a red state, I know many. They're persuadable, but not through the "Leaving MAGA" framework. The larger electoral math, though, lives with Independents who voted Trump and now have some buyer's remorse. Welcoming MAGA refugees matters, but winning requires a different conversation with that broader, disillusioned middle.
While I appreciate that some percentage of those 'Triple-Trumpers' are, as some say, seeing the light, I cannot ignore the fact that a larger percent of those, and most of those that continue to support this regime, have caused irreparable harm to our country, and immense pain and trauma to communities. And now, I'm supposed to trust that they have had an epiphany, only because they cannot afford to fill up their gas tanks? That is a hard ask. One that reminds me of a sign at a recent rally - It shouldn't have to happen to you for you to care. I have empathy and open-ness to those you describe, when they have a history of living their faith; I have no trust for those who go to church on Sunday and then on Monday continue to harm their neighbors, communities and our country.
Hard ask, indeed. There will be MAGA supporters who will never consider a different point of view. But, I do want to hold out hope that some MAGA supporters are changing their minds.
I understand the need to reach across the table. At the same time, these loyalists are still trying to figure out what most of the country has understood since 2016. They have been ignorant, often willfully, arrogant, cock-sure, hateful, and stupid. And the whole world is suffering for it. But I'm glad some finally, finally are seeing the light.
I would like to welcome people who are changing their minds. It's hard thing for both sides to do; admit being wrong and be open to people we think have done harm and understanding their perspective.
Their “perspective”?!!! How can we possibly ethically understand their perspective? There’s no compromise with evil- they broke America and we can’t forget it. Because it could easily happen again if we try to find the middle. There’s no middle ground.
Jesus would be flipping tables!
Scorn is certainly easier. Empathy for these folks is really hard. However, I truly believe that our anger needs to be directed at the billionaires running our country. They have prospered under Trump while the rest of us have suffered and are suffering. The 98% of Americans need to take back our country from the American Oligarchs.
I agree scorn is easier and empathy for MAGA supporters is harder. Yes, about billionaires. Hoarding great wealth has done some damage.
Empathy is wrong in this case. They blew it
The answer to your title question is “scorn”
They all change their mind when things affect their own lives, and then claim they “didn’t know”
Now, that doesn’t mean I won’t fake it to get their votes for James Talarico- I’ll hold my nose and act nice to their faces…but I will NOT forget their racism,misogyny, ignorance and stupidity. And definitely not forgive. Because that’s who they really are, y’all. Deplorables.
Yes.
Braver Angels has free e-courses.
“These professional level courses have been crafted by experts in communications and depolarization. They provide an effective and “safe” way to interact with people in difficult situations. These courses can be taken stand-alone, before a workshop, or after a workshop. Each course takes approximately 40 minutes to complete.”
https://braverangels.org/what-we-do/take-an-ecourse/
I'm sorry this happened to you. I think people have to do whatever they feel is within their capacity. I don't think there is an easy answer which is why I wrote the article and thought Leaving MAGA had an interesting approach. For me, if a MAGA person has any thoughts about voting for a Democrat, I would like to bring them along.