Eat Chocolate in the Aftermath

Coping with a weekend of shock and change

By Martha Merson

Many of us have strong feelings in the aftermath of President Biden’s announcement. Some feel their wishes and primary votes were disrespected. Out of a sense of anger, some may want to step back or even give up. But others feel that their wishes and hopes — and those of the Democratic party — have been answered. They are already toasting to new leadership. (More on that tomorrow.)

This article, however, is for those who find it difficult to accept Biden’s announcement and the uncertainty to come. If you are feeling bruised or disappointed, know that you aren’t alone. Given the gravity of the coming months, allow me to suggest one or more of these actions:

Take a nap.

Take a shower.

Eat some dark chocolate.

Then pick up your pen or settle back in at the keyboard, pull up the Mobilize link to sign up for a phone bank, and confirm details for your next canvassing expedition.

Because we are going to win in November! And beyond keeping the White House, the down ballot candidates working so hard in their communities need us to help them win.

As for me, I am still sorting out why all of this feels so personal, even though it’s playing out on a national stage, far removed from my day-to-day life. I have found several reasons.

First, I think for all of us conscious of aging and how our culture tends to sideline elders, plus the demanding, relentless questions about Biden’s competence have been hard to hear. Senior citizens, from the president on down, deserve better.

Second, many of us have made personal sacrifices for an organization or cause, or even for loved ones, and then felt rejected. For us, watching leaders who have worked so closely with the president urge him to step down has struck a nerve.

Third, we hold to the idea that loyalty is a value. True, some calls for Biden to step down emanated from concern for his health, but personal loyalty seems to have been eclipsed by less altruistic principles. To move forward, we have to hope that prioritizing youthful leadership over loyalty will deliver results we seek for the greater good.

While I continue to sift through these feelings, I recognize that we are here now, and facing a difficult truth. One of the best presidents of my lifetime will step aside. Yes, it’s heart-wrenching. This is where the chocolate comes in. Or a nap. Or both.

Nonetheless, I’m going to keep on keeping on. I will do my work for all the reasons we so often cite. Democratic leadership is better for the planet, reproductive health, freedom of expression. But I will also work for several people whose names you know.

I’ll start with Heather Heyer. Heather died in 2017 when a white man, enraged by protestors during a white supremacy march in Charlottesville, Virginia, slammed his car into the crowd. But instead of lowering the US flag to half-mast in Heather’s honor, Republican legislators in Oklahoma and Iowa passed laws to give immunity to drivers who harm protesters. In Heather’s name, I work to squash Republicans’ legislative agenda.

I will also work in memory of Trayvon Martin, Eric Garner, Ahmaud Arbery. We know black men deserve better.

I work for my friends Lily Ko, David Yamada, Sam, and Cong. Remember Trump’s repeated references to the “China flu” that unleashed hate on the Asian-American Pacific Islander community? More recently, Trump wished “Happy Memorial Day to All, including the Human Scum that is working so hard to destroy our Once Great Country.” I took that greeting personally and I reject all of this divisive name-calling.

I’m keeping on keeping on because when we elect the next Democratic president, we will have more appointments like Deb Haaland, the first Native American to serve as Secretary of the Interior, and Ketanji Brown Jackson, the first African-American woman on the Supreme Court. And I will keep on marching because suffragettes, union members, and Civil Rights marchers didn’t quit on the way.

Some volunteers may need breathing room and reassurance (for example, that our work on recent primaries mattered). Remind yourself and those you work with that regrouping may take some time. (See earlier advice; offer chocolate). Meanwhile, we remain in this fight together.

Martha Merson volunteers for Swing Blue Alliance, eats chocolate after every meal, and writes about pickleball on www.medium.com/@martha.merson

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