Winning with Emotional Intelligence -- Pt. 2

The way forward

By Steve Schear

Athletes can only compete extremely well if they are in excellent condition.  Likewise, activists can be most effective if they are in top condition.  For us, top condition means having both the emotional and intellectual tools to influence others to move in a positive direction. 

The election has caused most of us to suffer difficult emotions – sadness, depression, disappointment, anger, anxiety, fear.  Those emotions are real, inevitable, and not to be denied.  They are also unpleasant and usually not helpful for social relationships.  Misery may love company, but it is still miserable. 

Meeting the Emotional Challenge

Despite MAGA’s victories, most of us have something to be grateful for.  Family, friends, yummy food, good shows and movies, favorite sports teams, music, nearby nature, our political community, etc.  A lot of us have the economic security to contribute both time and money to political activism without risking our financial well-being.

We’re getting close to Thanksgiving.  This year more than ever, we should be generating feelings of gratitude for our personal lives.  Those feelings can overcome, or least diminish, post-election anguish.  Suffering does not help us.  It is better to enjoy the lives we have.  

Expressing Emotional Intelligence

Finding a positive emotional space is not only essential for our individual well-being.  It is also necessary to effectively participate in our political work.  

It is obvious that in most cases a warm friendly approach is the best way to connect with others.  Whether selling cars, recruiting volunteers, or campaigning for a political party or candidate, positive vibes work and negative vibes generally don’t. Positive emotional energy will allow you to bond with activists and have a good time as well.  It also improves our ability to influence others, whether Democrats, Republicans, non-voters, independents or unaffiliated voters.

Enjoy the Pleasures of Political Work

I spent a lot of time working on this year’s elections, and the first 308 days of the year were some of the best days of my life.  My political work connected me with lots of talented, compassionate, smart people.  Those actively engaged in politics on our side are mostly lovely to be around.  And then there were all the friendly strangers I got to meet at their doors and the new places I got to visit. 

I had hoped to participate in a historic defeat of fascism and the triumph of the forces of good.  Day 309 proved that MAGA has the upper hand.  Our work will be more difficult now that MAGA will have control of the federal government and probably more than half of the information outlets in the country. 

The fact that our work will be more challenging does not mean that it cannot be rewarding and fun. Rewarding, because of the community of people you can enjoy, and because we will be meeting an even greater historic challenge, defeating fascism. Fun, because we can and should engage in activities that are creative and enjoyable, with a spirit of hope.  Narrowly losing this year doesn’t mean that we cannot continue to campaign with a politics of joy and humor some of the time.  Ridicule is usually a more powerful persuasive tool than anger. We should use it when we can.

We will very likely be facing tragedy as well, when MAGA’s policies hurt people.  When Americans are injured by government action or climate change, we should try to help them, while explaining who is responsible for their injuries, (I’ll discuss that idea more in the next article.)

Blame MAGA Leaders, Not Their Followers

Some of us are angry at the election results.  Expressing that emotion doesn’t work for one-on-one persuasion. Negative emotions beget negative emotions and mistrust. Anger can be helpful, however, if it motivates actions and is aimed in the right direction. 

Almost 77 million people voted for Trump.  All too often I run into people who express contempt or anger about Trump voters, calling them stupid or worse.  For the past year, I’ve gone out of my way to talk to Republicans and Trump supporters.  None of them were stupid. mean, or white supremacists. Stupid, mean, and racist Trump supporters no doubt exist, but most Trump voters are ordinary people who believe the lies spread by right-wing information outlets, and by their friends, family, and co-workers tuned in to the same sources of disinformation.  

One could blame the entire German population, except for a very small set of resisters, for the rise of Nazi Germany.  However, Hitler, Josef Goebbels and the other Nazi leaders were the ones responsible for World War II and the Holocaust. They skillfully used the then new medium of radio to convince Germans that Jews and a Zionist conspiracy endangered Germany.  Likewise, it is MAGA’s leaders and their business and media allies — not the people duped by their lies — who are behind the fascist takeover of our government.  

Directing our anger at leaders and not followers is essential to making political progress.  To reduce support for MAGA, we need to expose the lies of the Right-Wing Propaganda Machine (RWPM), exposing them to Republicans as well as non-voters and independents.  We can only be successful if we take the stance that we are going to help fellow Americans see the light.  Thinking of them as “others” who are our enemies will make it impossible to shift their views or their votes.

We Need to Talk to Non-Voters and Republicans

One reason we are in this dangerous mess is our failure to talk to Republicans and those who are not political.  When canvassing, we are almost always given a list with doors of registered Democrats, and/or independents and unaffiliated voters.  Many campaigns instruct canvassers to not talk to Republicans at the doors.  The lists virtually never include residences where there are not registered voters. As a result, we were given no opportunity to challenge the world views of Trump supporters or those who don’t want to participate in politics. 

Talking with both non-voters and Trump supporters requires a high degree of emotional intelligence. We have to listen to where the person is coming from and then make an emotional connection, incorporating what we have heard.  If we can make those connections, then we have a chance of breaking through the RWPM. 

Emotional Intelligence Can Be Learned

Connecting emotionally to strangers comes easily to some people.  For others, it can be difficult and even frightening to think about.  Fortunately, most people can learn how to be politically deft emotionally with some training and lots of practice. Once you start making those connections, it feels really good. That is why a lot of us really enjoy canvassing.   

In the next article, I’ll suggest some specific ways we might be able to use emotional intelligence to help defeat MAGA.